14 March 2010

Goldilocks & the Three Smokey Bears

(A Slow News Week)

I discovered a hidden chamber in our apartment. A hidden chamber full of ancient artifacts.

Okay, I'll admit I may be over dramatizing. It's not quite as Indiana Jones as it sounds. Sadly I do not live inside a Harry Potter novel. There's no lion, no witch and no wardrobe to be found here. And I have yet to see the inside of John Malkovich's head.

My side of our bedroom has a small nightstand and a thin, oblong dresser with six drawers that are so shallow as to be almost useless. Nightstand and dresser are joined, into an L shape, by a corner connecting bit. A squarish piece of surface with the same fake wood-grained top, and an extra leg at the back, giving the L more stability.

If I gave the thing any thought at all I suppose I assumed the connecting bit's purpose was simply to make two small pieces of furniture into one larger, unwieldy one. To take two versatile and easily managed parts and connect them so as to reduce the number of ways they might function in a room to exactly one. Generally speaking I am not a fan of L-shaped pieces of furniture.

Also I thought maybe the connecting bit's job was to hold a TV, since that's what was on it when we moved in. The TV's long gone and aside from an occasional dusting I never really gave the corner bit a second glance. Until recently.

Turns out the top of it is actually a lid. And beneath that lid is a compartment maybe twice the size of a generous bread box. And in that compartment I found...

...this well worn treasure...

...this classically handsome fella (my favorite)....

...and this guy who is so clearly deranged that he makes me shudder and laugh in equal measure.

I've let these three out for a little air. Gave the secret chamber a thorough scrubbing and deposited all my unruly winter accessories into it. I'm delighted to have all scarves, hats and gloves rounded up in one place.

As for the three fellas, they've been kicking around the apartment all week, their fate as yet undecided. They carry a faint odor of stale smoke about them.

So, you know, maybe it's not "newsworthy," but that's all I got for you people. A secret compartment, three weird stuffed bears and a new home for some of my accessories.

What can I say? I am a simple girl easily excited by the idea that her tiny apartment still has secrets to reveal after six months. Wonder what else I might find.



Tina Haltigan said...

i love it Kelly....tell me more stories even if you make them up...secret compartments and bears...keep discovering

Anonymous said...

Best post ever. Let's name them. Austrian names! Three names each, preferably. GO!

xo NYC Shirl (via St. Augustine)

Anonymous said...

looks like that third bear may know how to say Meow.

Anonymous said...

All I can think of is what type of dust mites are living on those things! I shudder at the thought.