20 October 2007

If misery loves company...

...than I am having a P-A-R-T-Y!!!

I turned 36 last week, and apparently 36 is the year my body has decided to Go To Hell In A Hand Basket. You may remember I was in the hospital for a brief stay involving abdominal pain the week prior to my birthday. Well as it turns out, that was just a ramping up, a precursor of sorts, the hors d'oeuvres to the main course that is my current physical state.

To be honest I haven't been 100% since leaving the hospital and should probably have never undertaken my subsequent trip to NY. I didn't not give my body the time, rest, diet and attention it deserved and needed to get healthy. Yes, I was feeling run down and I went to NY and ate a slice (pie) of pizza, drank a glass (bottle) of wine and smoked a cigarette(s.)

Guilty as charged.

Okay!! Enough of this responsibility rubbish. This is a self pitying rant. More importantly this is MY self pitying rant and I am shutting down that avenue of thought because it is distracting me from my true purpose of garnering sympathy and wallowing in the mud of my self indulgence.

Where to start? How about on the plane ride back to Dublin in which I was able to sleep most of the flight thanks to Mr. Xanex. Waking up in the final hour I had some leg pain, thought I could walk it off, stumbled to the bathroom, no improvement. It got worse but we just went home and went to sleep. Getting up after our nap I was worse than ever. Hobbling around like a 90 year old woman with rheumatoid arthritis.

It's most severe in the mornings. Right hand, left kneecap, calves, ankles, one big toe. Deep muscle and joint pain. Some swelling. Red spots appear after a day. Keeping it elevated. Applying heat. At least two baths a day. Taking the odd aspirin when I can't hold back (remember the ulcer!) Moving around in the morning loosens me up and by mid day I no longer look like a 90 year old woman suffering from rheumatoid arthritis. I look like a 60 year old woman suffering from rheumatoid arthritis. Which, I will admit, is an improvement, but not the one I've been hoping for. Plus I live in fear of sleeping because when I wake up I will be 90 again. Not that I can sleep well anyway.

I self diagnose myself with deep vein thrombosis, which is when you get blood clots stuck deep in your veins and they thromb? Seriously, I have some but not all the symptoms and hello? This started while I was on the plane. That's GOTTA have something to do with it. Right?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

A few little nagging things that had been, well, nagging at me since the hospital visit suddenly become large things. Only they are no longer nagging me so much as clubbing me over the head with a two-by-four to get their point across. I've had lower back pain and my noggin aches. I had chalked these two up to sleeping in the hospital, compensating for abdominal pain, odd sleeping position, weird adjustable beds that are NEVER comfortable, snoring old ladies etc etc etc. But wait a second...I've had these symptoms and it's been two weeks since I've left the hospital! And just as my head is actually splitting open in migraine-esque pain I realize...duh!...this may all be connected. Elementary my dear Watson (you idiot!!)

Add a terrible sore throat and some really weird and scary looking mottled skin and you get a midnight trip to the accident and emergency room, aka, The A&E (I'll take arts and entertainment for $800, Alex.)

sidebar: this what you get when you google image "mottled skin" to make sure you've used the right word, and yes, I used exactly the right word. freaky eh?

As if Friday at midnight at the emergency room weren't bad enough my delightful and loving body which would never do me wrong throws a little something fun into the mix. Throwing up!! With red sauce!! (and by that I mean blood, duh!?)

Far be it from me to profane but Christ on a Cracker!!! Can a girl get a break?? They are going to think I am insane when I start listing all my random symptoms:

deep pain in both legs, one knee, one foot, one hand
red spots on all the above
mottled skin on all extremities
killer headache radiating in all directions
lower back pain with odd, small bumps (do we have lymph nodes back there?)
sore throat
vomiting with blood
deep sense of despair

To keep a long story long we waited in the room designated for that purpose among track suited, drunk and bloody knackers with ears halfway ripped off, 70 year old women with rheumatoid arthritis, several characters straight from a Ross O'Carroll Kelly story, roysh? And many other interesting types. No tests, no blood drawn, some questions, some listening, a look around, a second closer look at the sore throat and "It's a infection, I'm giving you antibiotics."

me: "But the sore throat only really started yesterday."
I'm thinking I am a medical mystery. I'm thinking I need a genius at Diagnostic Medicine. I'm thinking I need that guy House. (a show that I have recently discovered in repeats here...love it!)

Then the ER doctor shoots me a well deserved look that says "Listen lady, I have worked many, many long hours at this damn emergency room on this Friday night, I have been to medical school, I sewed that dude's ear back on...shut up and take your medicine."

I realize he is probably right. Take my medicine. Take a taxi home. Throw up. Go to bed.

And God is merciful up in his heaven because I actually achieve the blissful and recently rare state of SLEEP. Would like to say I got a good night's sleep, but it was actually a good day's sleep, cause it came mostly after Chris picked up my prescriptions first thing in the morning. (God bless that man, he is a saint. I have undeservedly bitten his head off a thousand times in the last few days in my frustration. Love you honey, even when you are not dosing me with codeine.)

Friday morning - about 14 hours before the trip to emergency - we had gone to a clinic where they did mostly nothing and told me to come back Monday for a blood test so I will keep that appointment in case there is something else to find out about what's going on with me. Also on the rare chance that I caught something weird from the cheap pedicure place I went to in NY...an infection (ew) a fungus (double ew) or a parasite (triple EW EW EW!!!!) This is probably my overactive imagination coupled with some Discovery Channel Scare-You-Into-Hysterics Show I saw years ago. It's an irrational fear I carry around, ok?
Let's leave this line of thinking.

Anywho...that's where things stand now. We have friends visiting tomorrow and I look forward to seeing them but won't be joining in on any reindeer games :(
I am feeling the tiniest bit better, not sure if I can even hang my hat on that just yet. But I am trying. Am feeling hopeful which is an improvement. I figure I have sent enough cry-baby e-mails out to so many of you individually that I ought to just post it all up here and get my self pity out in the open where I can be rightly ashamed of it and proceed to kick it's ass!!!

My place is MESS, my hair is even WORSE. Our sleep schedule is completely screwy. I haven't accomplished one single, solitary useful thing in DAYS. But today I am laughing about it all and that is a big improvement. Thanks for sticking with me through my wallow. I hate being sick and frankly find all of this a little embarrassing. Hope to update with good news soon. Then we can just drop it and forget it ever happened.
:)

peace out
-k.


(music: Harry Nilsson "Lime in the Coconut"

8 comments:

Alli Arnold said...

HOLY HELL, kelly.
i think you should see MORE doctors to get to the bottom of this! you need answers! and frankly, i want you to do this here in the USA. oh man. but for now please just rest and be patient with yourself and get better...soon. i hate that you are going thru all of this, stuck in the HALLS OF MEDICINE.

you forgot to list one symptom:
its like you want to burp, but you can't.

i love you,
your shirl

Anonymous said...

I can burp, I'd be happy to do it for you. Poor baby it sounds so miserable and frustrating for you.Sorry Kelly. If you have swelling or pain in your lower back maybe that could be causing the leg pain. I know that's only one of the issues. You sure need the complete attention of medical person-other than me. Love you, mama

Anonymous said...

Wow Kelly, you really got it all out in this blog. You can wallow a minute or two, you are so far away from home when you would want to be nowhere but home the most. Being sick in another country and having to trust their Dr.s??? I was thinking the same thing "Your Shirl" said b4 I even came to the comment section. Maybe you should get all of this taken care of in the USA. I hope that even as I write this you are feeling loads better. Oh and I usually say, "Christ on a pony" ha ha. Head up kid and get the proper care!!! Thats an order. Stand strong little Soldier.
-Kristine

Anonymous said...

OY !
My friend is a pt and she said deep vein thrombosis is not always accompanied by swelling.
be careful and report back every few hours, please.
Love, Helen

Mrynn said...

I agree with Alli and Kristine 100%.

I never heard of getting treated with out trying to find out exactly what is wrong first.

You have an infection - here are some antibiotics?!? What kind of an infection and what if it isn't and how did you get it? From you hospital stay maybe? No tests run? You have to wait until Monday for a blood test? I don't get it. Sorry but I am very frustrated by this.

I can't stand it that you are feeling this way and you are so far away and there is nothing I can do from here.

love you kel hope you are still feeling better but I really want you to find out what this is!

Chris thank you for taking such good care of our baby sister!

Catherine said...

Wow....keep that appointment and get your bloodwork done; my babies would have to murder Uncle Chris if anything were to happen to their Aunt Kelly ;)

Anonymous said...

Seriously! I hope you're feeling better. Please don't get content with just feeling better than you have been feeling. You want to feel 100%. love you,
Eileen

Anonymous said...

I'm a little late in reading this and I know you said you are feeling better but it all sounds weird and serious and i agree with the ones who said come to the USA and get this all checked out. It doesn't sound like an infection to me. love kate